What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Please Rape William Wright

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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