What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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96

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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