Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

your mom

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

WEED!

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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