A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

JUST KIDDING^

thumb_up thumb_down -7

He walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a frog?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

leon harney ya pikey

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A sober Amy Winehouse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's 6 + 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops