Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

thumb_up thumb_down +36

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops