Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

thumb_up thumb_down +5

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

1

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Gun Control

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops