Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

a fish swimming in the water swims

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

rosie o'donald goes on a diet

Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

Facebook How i met my mother

What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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