Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I just found out i have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

thumb_up thumb_down -28

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops