How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

69

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

Make little things count Teach midgets math

You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...