You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats black and red inside? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops