Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Brad Fuller!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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girls lacrosse

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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