What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops