Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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