when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Yes.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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