A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +169

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops