Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Men's Rights

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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