Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops