Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

sexual intercourse.

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

what sucks? things that suck

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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