Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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