I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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shauns beautiful

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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womens rights

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A man walks into a bar

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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