Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

Q: What is, in full, Donald Trump's speech to the Republican National Convention? A: This. I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! Trump tromp troomp trimp treemp tramp trump trump trump!

How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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