-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You see how lame this is?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops