What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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tee hee

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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