Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops