Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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hi

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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sharks

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Knock knock Come in

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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