What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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Your biggest fan.

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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