A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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hi

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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The government

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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