Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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PENIS

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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Knock knock Come in

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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