Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Xzibit

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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penis

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops