A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How are cars made? By magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops