what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Agent 47.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Come In!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Mark Wilson

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops