Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Dont look at me.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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America

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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