why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Miley Cyrus.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Jews...

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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The Olympics

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Yes.

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Get in the car.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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