Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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