Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops