Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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