Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops