What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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