Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

girls lacrosse

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

Brad Fuller!

I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

Lil' Wayne

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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