what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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what do u call a black man a black man

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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