Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Cheese stick

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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