Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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I pooped.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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Gun Control

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops