An English man walks into a pub.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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