Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Your Mom

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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