What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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69

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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