Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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