Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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canaan and mallory

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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