How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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I had sex with my mother in law

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops