Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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