Chinese drivers.

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I pooped my pants

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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im black

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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Women's Rights.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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