Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops