What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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Cripples are lame.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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full house

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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Flop dog

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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