Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Davey Peterson.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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