One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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im @ work, LOL.

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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( . Y . )

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This is my first attempt at making an anti-joke: That's was it.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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Snooki

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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