A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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What's 9+10? 19

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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