What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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Gingers.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops